Paul E. Miller in his book A Praying Life: Connecting With God In A Distracting World:
The Hardest Place in the World to Pray
American culture is probably the hardest place in the world to learn to pray. We are so busy that when we slow down to pray, we find it uncomfortable. We prize accomplishments, production. But prayer is nothing but talking to God. It feels useless, as if we are wasting time. Every bone in our bodies screams, “Get to work.”
When we aren’t working, we are used to being entertained. Television, the Internet, video games, and cell phones make free time as busy as work. When we do slow down, we slip into a stupor. Exhausted by the pace of life, we veg out in front of a screen or with earplugs.
If we try to be quiet, we are assaulted by what C. S. Lewis called “the Kingdom of Noise.”1 Everywhere we go we hear background noise. If the noise isn’t provided for us, we can bring our own via iPod.
Even our church services can have that same restless energy. There is little space to be still before God. We want our money’s worth, so something should always be happening. We are uncomfortable with silence.One of the subtlest hindrances to prayer is probably the most pervasive. In the broader culture and in our churches, we prize intellect, competency, and wealth. Because we can do life without God, praying seems nice but unnecessary. Money can do what prayer does, and it is quicker and less time-consuming. Our trust in ourselves and in our talents makes us structurally independent of God. As a result, exhortations to pray don’t stick.
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A Visit to a Prayer Therapist
Let’s imagine that you see a prayer therapist to get your prayer life straightened out. The therapist says, “Let’s begin by looking at your relationship with your heavenly Father. God said, ‘I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me’ (2 Corinthians 6:18). What does it mean that you are a son or daughter of God?”
You reply that it means you have complete access to your heavenly Father through Jesus. You have true intimacy, based not on how good you are but on the goodness of Jesus. Not only that, Jesus is your brother. You are a fellow heir with him.
The therapist smiles and says, “That is right. You’ve done a wonderful job of describing the doctrine of Sonship. Now tell me what it is like for you to be with your Father? What is it like to talk with him?” You cautiously tell the therapist how difficult it is to be in your Father’s presence, even for a couple of minutes. Your mind wanders. You aren’t sure what to say. You wonder, Does prayer make any difference?
Is God even there? Then you feel guilty for your doubts and just give up. Your therapist tells you what you already suspect. “Your relationship with your heavenly Father is dysfunctional. You talk as if you have an intimate relationship, but you don’t. Theoretically, it is close. Practically, it is distant. You need help.”
A Praying Life: Connecting With God In A Distracting World is one of the best books on prayer I have read to date. With the turn of each new page, I found myself feeding on the author’s biblical wisdom, treasuring Christ more surely, and desiring to both meet with and enjoy God more regularly. I highly recommend it.
3 Comments on "A Praying Life: “You Need Help”"
I read that book last year. Best book on prayer I have ever read too. God has been convicting me of a dry prayer life again this year. The Psalms are a comfort to read. Chris, I hate to use categories, but i’m a reformed charismatic evangelical. Would you recommend any other books on prayer for me?
Yes, Kyle! Sorry it has taken me too long to respond. I would recommend any of the following:
Prayer (John Bunyan)
The Power of Prayer in a Believer’s Life (Spurgeon)
Hunger For God (John Piper)
Fresh Wind Fresh Fire (Jim Cymbala)
I just started going through Bunyan’s book, Prayer. E-mail me if you’d like to go through it with me: chris@thegospelforoc.com
I just read this post and I’m glad I did. Thanks Chris!