Sin distorts things. It takes the good and beautiful and gives it a twist that turns things ugly. This is surely the case with masculinity.
If you’ve been following, I’ve written previously that biblical masculinity is founded on these two words: benevolent responsibility (these terms are borrowed from John Piper and Wayne Grudem in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood).
“Benevolent” means that man is made to give himself up for the blessing of others. He is to love the world around him by building up and protecting, and doing so under the wisdom of God’s word. “Responsibility” means that this is a mandate. His love must mean more than “not hurting”; it means engaging, initiating, and leading where appropriate.
If biblical masculinity is a benevolent responsibility, then it’s not hard to guess at the sinful twists that mutilate the manhood. Instead of responsibility there will be passivity; instead of benevolence, domination.
Passivity
This is precisely what we see in Scripture. My last post looked to Genesis 3 and saw Adam abdicating. He was responsible for his place and his lady, but when the snake came threatening he would not stand but followed the easy road to death.
Proverbs 25.26 says,
Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain
is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.
A righteous man is intended to be a place where those around can find something good to drink: his life is to give life. But when he will not stand; when he will not lead; when he will not shoulder up under the responsibility God has given him, those in need of water find a mouthful of mud.
Dominance
Genesis 4 shows the other version of crooked when Lamech is introduced. A descendent of the rebellious Cain, Lamech leaks pride. The first thing to notice of Lamech is that he seems to have invented polygamy. Bad idea. This is a horrible twisting of God’s plan where one man and one woman become on flesh: naked and not ashamed. Lamech has mutilated marriage.
We see why he might do so as his character is revealed in what may be the world’s first ‘gangsta rap.’ He actually speaks of himself in the 3rd person:
Lamech said to his wives:
“Adah and Zillah, hear my voice;
you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say:
I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me.
If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold,
then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.”
This is amazing hubris, as it was God Almighty who swore to avenge Cain. Lamech is claiming to be so strong and so vengeful as to far out-do God in revenge. However, unlike God, there is no righteousness or mercy here. Lamech is murderous for the sake of his ego.
So Lamech isn’t passive like Adam; in fact he’s initiating and engaging. But don’t mistake this for masculinity. This is a horrid exchange of benevolence for domination. A selfish domineering masculinity that has lost love is no real masculinity at all. Proverbs 16.32 says,
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Ruling one’s ego with humility and self-control is more impressive than taking a city. True masculinity is benevolent.
Fight for benevolent responsibility
Men must be aware of sin’s spoiling. Let’s be looking for places where we’re falling into passivity – abdicating our responsibility; or domination – selfishly using others. And by God’s grace, let’s be men who are known for a Christ-like benevolent responsibility wherever God has placed us.
~Alright: the next post on the subject will have a look at the ultimate man, as we consider the Gospel and masculinity. I look forward to hearing from you!
2 Comments on "Two Twists on Masculinity"
This reminds me of something an old friend once told me. In a bible study he did, he talked about how we take the good things of manhood and pervert them into something bad, or “twisted” to use your language. For example, when a guy should be protective, he can pervert that into “possession” or being “possessive.” He had other examples but none come to mind right now. Thank you for sharing this. It’s helpful!
I agree. We don’t want to take these two items (dominance and passivity) to extremes. I have a question though, where do we draw the line between humility and passivity? Isn’t the Christian supposed to be humble and meek?